............In the Pond.....On the banks......

The 3 mistakes of my life-a humble review attempt!

2010-08-02T20:04:00.002+05:30

Author-Chetan bhagat
Publisher-Rupa
Price-Rs:95/-(You will get 20% discount if you are lucky.I bought all his 4 books together and got the discount).

At the outset, let me make it clear that neither am I a voracious reader nor a literary critic to attempt a book review, that too on one of India’s best sellers. And I don’t have sufficient language skills required for a critic. But the down to earth theme and narrating style prompts me to !

The novel revolves around three young friends Govind, Ishaan and Omi living in Belrampur, Ahmedabad, Gujrat, the state of businessmen.. Reading the book was a real big experience, so to say. Very lively , characters from middle class families. I was all for Govind until his second mistake, which I found difficult to digest, may be because I am a girl’s mother! Even his suicide attempt could not win my sympathy! Forgetting the dislikes let me bring out the likes.

1.The simple language- It definitely is written in the language of the masses without using high handed jargons. It makes you feel that the characters are living in your immediate neighborhood and you know them all.

2.Depth of friendship- I am all for the strong bond of true friendships where one emotionally supports, corrects and extends all sorts of help as and when required without being sought by her/his friend. The book shows you the beauty of friendship and the emotional trauma through which one goes at the point of breaking up.

3.Positive energy-It shows how an ordinary Indian can achieve his goals by simply using available resources in and around his/her place. Govind planned his business observing that cricket and badminton are the popular games in Belrampur. Moreover, Ishan was the top cricketer during his school days and G counted on utilizing his skills by starting training sessions for students. The sports goods shop amassed profit as he planned.

4.Intricacies of relationships-between dad-son(Ishaan and his dad), uncle- nephew(Omi and his uncle ) ,friend’s sister transforming to girl friend, friends turning foes ,the intimacy developed between Ishaan and the little boy Ali etc etc. The efforts, the trio put in under the leadership of Ish to rescue Ali from hindu fanaticism consequent to Godra incident was terrific. The riot stricken Ahmedabad was horrifying to read.

5.Vision –It gives what India is now and what India should be.

I liked Govind most ,because of his clear-cut ambition and the flawless planned efforts to achieve the same. He is a perfect professional who does not mix up profession with sentiments. I have noticed the absence of this professionalism among us . We are adepts at spicing each and everything with sentiments even in pure official matters at workplace, of course, according to me. Things have changed a lot, I admit, among the newer generation.

Ishaan, Omi ,Ali, his dad, all are real life characters. Vidya , Omi’s sister is representative of the typical new age fearless Indian girls. But the doubt of illicit pregnancy scares her too! But I love Vidya inspite of her impulsive behaviour!

More quotes from the book ,in case anybody wishes to read further.

Listen to what the agnostic Govind, who tells the story-

“I was never good with emotional stuff.I love maths, I love logic and those subjects have no place for emotion”

“My love for business began when I first started tuitions. It was amazing to see money build up. With money came not only things like coolers and sofas but also the most important stuff-respect. Shopkeepers no longer avoided us, relatives re-invented us to weddings and our landlord’s visit did not throw us into turmoil. And then there was the thrill-I was making money, not earning it under some boss or getting a handout.”

“I don’t want to be an Engineer, mom. My heart is in business”.

“I hate a display of emotion more than emotion itself”

“people called me Mr. Accounts, greedy, miser, anything”
“I am no Mr. Nice and I hate people who are not focused.”

“if Ish’s passion was cricket and my passion was business, was Omi’s passion religion? or may be like most people he was confused and trying to find his passion. And unlike us, who never took him seriously, Parekh-Ji gave him a sense of purpose and importance.”

Ali’s dad, on Hindu Muslim fights (The words which haunt me always)

“Male chimpanzees of the same pack fight violently with each other-for food, females, whatever. However after the fight, they go through a strange ritual. They kiss each other on the lips. The point is, this ritual was created by nature. To make sure the fight gets resolved and the pack stays together. In fact any long-term relationship requires this”

“Yes, take any husband and wife. They will fight, and hurt each other emotionally. However later they will make up, with hugs, presents or kind understanding words. These reconciliatory mechanisms are essential. The problem in Hindu-Muslim rivalry is not that that one is right and the other is wrong. It is that there are no reconciliatory mechanisms.”

Ish-“The young generation in India from the 60’s to the 80’s is the worst India ever had.These 30 years are an embarrassment for India...My point is, that the clueless sixties to eighties generation is now old, and running the country”.

The discussion among the 3 friends really throws insight into the present state of affairs of our country.

Omi & Govind-(at Australia where the trio took Ali for training cricket at their own initiative)

Omi-“There is an unspoken rule among Indian men and you broke it........You don’t hit upon your best friend’s sister. You just don’t. It’s against protocol.”

G-“protocol? What’s this, the army? And I didn’t hit on her. She hit upon me”

O-“But you let her hit upon you. You let her”

G-“well, it wasn’t exactly like being hit. It didn’t hurt. It felt good”(But I never felt good- I was thinking of Vidya's fiture and the plight of her innocent parents)

Australian cricketer Fred who is training Ali-“ If I don’t break their ( cricket practicing kids) pride, they will stay hoons for the rest of their life. Sportsmen aren’t movie stars, mate. Even though your country treats them like that!”

Little Ali on being asked to be an Aussie(Australian citizen) for better coaching and facilities-“It’s ok, if I don’t become a player, but it’s not ok if I’m not an Indian” ( I hugged Ali and kissed him on his forehead!)

“Don’t get so sentimental about politics. Emotional speeches are fine, but in your mind always think straight” Parek-Ji’s lecture to Bittoo mama, Omi’s uncle.

“Who you are, what do you want verse what people expect of you. And how to keep what you want without pissing off people too much.Life is an optimization problem, with tons of variables and constraints.” G to Vidya during a tuition class

Vidya to Govind at ATHIRA campus lawn-“why, why is it so unfair? Why do only I have to deal with this? why can’t you get pregnant at the same time?”

the P-word which freaks men out-Pregnancy
the A word- abortion ...

And stopping for the time being or else I”ll copy the whole book! It has become too long. But you always have the freedom to skip, don’t you?

THE COUSINS

2010-04-01T04:05:00.000+05:30

It was the 1970’s.
All throughout the year, Anuradha and Anjana were longing for their term and annual holidays. It was their greatest dream during school days. At home with Dad, Mom and cousins at their hilltop bungalow........Onam and Christmas holidays were short, only for a week, and so it was the two months midsummer vacation which really delighted them.

There was a school very near to their house, but their parents wanted them to be at convent boarding school for a better disciplined education.

Anu was only 2 years elder to Anju, but was very protective to her as if she was her mother. Both of them were equally homesick at the convent boarding school but only Anju used to cry aloud. It was Anu’s duty to console her younger sister and so she felt it improper to be moody at least in front of Anju! The sisters were very fond of each other, needless to say.

Many cousins used to be with them at home for annual holidays but it was their dear cousin Mahesh who used to stay all throughout the holidays. Their Moms were sisters, Mahesh’s mother being the younger one. Their father was a big landlord and a social reformer of his time that he did not mind educating his girl children, provided they passed all classes in the first chance itself! Otherwise he would get them married off after 10th, i.e. at the age of 15! Getting married at this tender age was very common those days. Anu’s mother was intelligent, and completed her graduation before marriage. There was difference of opinion between the sisters at times on family matters, as it used to be in those days in most of the affluent feudal families. However, the children were not at all dragged into it and they loved one another.

Mahesh was 3 years junior to Anju and he was all admiration for her. Anju was class first, fluent in English, knew swimming and what not! Anu was brighter and more intelligent than Anju, but she was slightly shy and was not as hard working as her little sister.

The trio used to be very busy right from morning. As little kids, they started playing ‘porridge and curry’, in a specially constructed shed of palm leaves in the back courtyard. The rooms were separated using lines of stones which were walls for them! They decided to conduct house warming and as the boy, it was Mahi’s duty to go to shops. One cousin was to run the shop with rice of coarse sand, sugar of fine sand etc as was decided by Anu. Leaves of a particular plant were fixed as currency too!

Mahesh went to shop and ordered rice, sugar etc etc...He was not sure of the units no, kg, liter etc that he ordered “1kg nilavilakku” (The sacred bronze oil lamp lit up in Hindu Homes) to the loud laughter of his shopkeeper cousin. Mahesh was on the verge of tears but Anju and Anu ran to soothe him. Why should Mahesh cry when his all powerful soldier sisters were there to protect him!

At times Anju recited a native poem which ran thus
“ vallikkadu mahakadu , Kelikedinte Uthbhavam, annam nasthi jalam nasthi, kallu kondupajeevanam”....meant Vallikkadu(the name of place) is a dense forest, origin of ill fame, there’s neither rice nor water and people survive on liquor.......

Vallikkadu was Mahesh’s place and he was so shameful that he piqued away from her. But Anju could not think of insulting her brother and would say sorry starting play again.

There was no pond at Mahi’s place and it was his greatest wish to learn swimming. They went to the backyards, collected plantain stems, cut them to 2 feet length. Long twigs sharpened at the edges were pierced through the stems at both ends tying them together. It was a real hectic job and the house helpers were also deployed to help them. The ‘boat’ was carried to the house pond as procession. The boat of course floated on water surface with Mahi on it. Anu had real tough time since Mahi was timid. Anyway the sisters succeeded and he became a good swimmer.

Later on, Anu’s family shifted to the capital city that Mahi could not frequent them as before. As soon as pre degree was completed, Mahi joined for graduation at the capital city. He was supposed to be in the college hostel, but was mostly at his aunt’s house because of homesickness. So finally he moved to their house under the strong recommendation of his dear cousins.

During vacations Mahi insisted Anju to visit his house that she couldn’t resist going there. He was very proud that his sister was doing engineering and she was his show piece. She was the first one to join professional course from their family, which till then had the practice of marrying girl children at 18-19 years. Anju was envied by many of her cousins ,but to Mahi, she was his role model.

After graduation, Mahi joined engineering at Mysore and Anju went to Kochi to take up her job. Whenever Mahi got vacation, he got down at Kochi to see his sister, before he proceeded to his home place.Anju bought him readymade shirts with her first salary. And thus flowed the river of affection.....................

Anju’s family shifted back to their native place since the mission of educating their children and making them stand on their feet was achieved. Anju’s marriage was fixed and Mahi was all happy about it.

Anju’s marriage went off well, but Mahi was conspicuous by his absence. He chose to stay away from the marriage of his dear sister! Anju was visibly upset and she could not forgive him. But she never sought an explanation! She loved him, but she was no less noble than her brother and the very same blood flowed through their nerves! Anju can live without food, but not without self respect.

In those days, rift in families, especially well to do families, were not uncommon. People never felt ashamed to use holy marriage functions as a stage to outpour their vengeance, envy etc. That is, family undercurrents and cheap politics reflected too much in marriage ceremonies. Many people attended marriages not to bless the couple but to find fault with each and everything. It’s a great relief that now a days people have become more polished at least outwardly, so to say!

The real reason was the envy of relatives, but Anju could not digest and forgive the fact that her brother could fall prey to it. Mahi’s mother, who injected poison to her son’s mind just to satisfy her envy, did not ever think of the real consequences of her deeds. How easily could she break the golden thread of love between them! It is very easy to break up a relationship, but not that easy to mend it. To her it was just a passing mood......She never expected it to grow up to this dimension...

There were enough opportunities in the past also if Anju and Mahi wanted to rift away, but they outlived all such silly situations. That is why Anju could not forgive him .During other family functions, Mahi went to Anju and spoke to her, but she preferred to keep away with monosyllable answers. She could not behave normally unless and until she could get satisfactory explanation from him on his peculiar behavior. Mahi never chose to explain also.

Years went by.... Mahi got married and Anju stayed away.....Mahi tried to telephone her on one pretext or another but she could not redeem the relationship unless it could start again on a clean slate. She did not believe in a superficial relationship with her brother. It can be with others, but not with near and dear ones.

After working for few years, Mahi started his own business .Anju heard to her surprise that Mahi had become a ‘good’ drunkard and he had started the habit while working. Anju’s contacts at his workplace told he fell into not –so- good friendships...Mahi whom Anju knew was mad about money , but was a guy with principles that she could not believe it.....Mahi was good at heart... and if he has become a drunkard, something must be disturbing him for sure. But she was helpless, for these were all her guessing only. Moreover both of them had lost their common platform of love and the freedom out of it.

Mahi’s business flourished and all family were praising him. Anju always sensed something fishy about it. Family members attributed the drastic changes in his personality as part of business flourishing.....But Anju was sure that he was forced to do many things against his wish, may be by his business partner..........Anju wanted to advice him but by that time their minds had drifted apart too much.......Moreover, Mahi consciously created an air of a business magnet around him that Anju withdrew farther away from him. But she always feared of a bad news about him........and it sent tremors through her body. But how could she react on the basis of her sheer sixth sense!

And at last the worst happened......The result of his unscrupulous friendship.......

Anju broke into tears and started blaming herself in her mind.......She also felt responsible for the tragic events that happened.It was her duty as his sister to warn him earlier...Had she been a bit flexible, this would not have happened..... but...but.....The ‘but’s’, ‘if’s’ and ego always prevented......

Mahi’s wife Usha held her hands and whispered to her slowly...

“Chechi.... (Sister), he was very fond of you..... I knew it during the early years of our marriage .He had told me many times that you were his Friend, Philosopher and Guide.........You were a great influence on him.....But later on , he changed a lot and this was not unexpected..... You needn’t feel sorry...may be it’s my fate....”

Anju stood speechless, patting her sister in law.........Oh, Why did I keep away from such a lovely, intelligent sister... all these years......If both of us tried together, he would have been saved........She was whispering to herself........lamenting silently.....The war was going on in her mind........Only Usha sensed it.

Anju saw Mahi’s mother lying grief stricken in the next room. She did not feel like going near her. Was she aware that it was her baseless act of jealousy which deprived her son of his ever helping hand?.......

Yes, If we are not sensible enough, it may be our near and dear ones and not our enemies who would lead us astray!........So beware!!!

TIT BITS

2009-12-16T08:22:00.001+05:30

These are the jottings from one of my old literary notebooks. But , who said, seems to have been overlooked in most cases.....

“..January 2nd is the day when most people find that it is easier to break a resolution than a habbit.”

“ To handle yourself, use your head; To handle others use your heart ”.

“Ideas should be received like guests-in a friendly way;but with the reservation that they are not to tyrannize their host!”

“Two things indicate weakness-to be silent when it is proper to speak and to speak when it is proper to be silent.”- Persian Proverb

"When a man with money meets a man with experience, the man with experience gets the money and the man with money gets experience."

“ He has a right to criticize who has a heart to help”-Lincoln

"Criticism should be malice towards none and charity towards all"-Lincoln

A sentence with all the 26 alphabets-
“Quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog!”

“Silence is deep as eternity ; Speech is shallow as time.”-Carlyle

“Some books are to be tasted, others are to be followed, and some few to be chewed and digested”-Bacon

“Some men are great because their associates are little”-Johnson

“Begin not with a programme, but with a deed”-Florence Nightingale

"One who knows not that he knows not is a fool, neglect him
One who knows that he knows not is humble, teach him
One who knows not that he knows is innocent
On who knows that he knows is wise, follow him"

"Everyone wants to be wanted."

Neither Materialistic Nor Spiritual.......

2009-08-28T23:50:00.002+05:30

Yes, now I’m on the road to spirituality! But that doesn’t indicate the least that we were too materialistic till now.

In fact we were and are leading a very simple life .We had professional degrees, held good offices in tune with our times, and we had everything to act big if so desired by us .But costly dresses, make up and luxurious living never allured us. It was not at all our style, so to say. We were quite contented too. Live and let live was our motto. We never interfered with other’s beliefs and we didn’t permit others to intervene in ours. A very silent and peaceful way of living. Very much sincere, dedicated and bound to duty to the extent of work holism at times. So did we take up our house hold duties and responsibilities as well.

But when we look back, we do realize one thing....We were not at all spiritual!!!. We were following a path in between materialism and spirituality. As the mistress of the house, I am to be blamed for that. I never used to light up the sandhyadeepam (the lamp lit in the evenings at hindu homes), offer prayers to God, go to temples, and observe rituals like vrathams (penance) for the betterment of family. We have read all the sacred books right from childhood days. But the reading had nothing to do with Bhakthi or religion. Any Indian should read these irrespective of his religion caste etc etc as rightly said by many learned people.

Similarly, we have visited many famous temples, stood wonderstruck before the huge structures........admiring the sculptors.......Praying to the lords inside the temple were the most unimportant part then....... But now I realize God must have smiled sympathetically at us who, got trapped in the external luxuries and failed miserably to find him/her inside the sanctum sanctorum .It was just like going to meet our Parents and enjoying the luxuries of the house without paying any attention to them! i.e. simply forgetting the very purpose of the visit.

Now I am experimenting.... But it is really hard.....had we been spiritual earlier, I'm sure we could have improved the quality of our lives and helped to make this place a better place to live.. The word spirituality itself has varied meanings.......

Late realisation in life.....Anyway better late than never!!!